With the holidays here and most of the big-wigs who’d be required to approve a $3 million sponsorship already sipping hot chocolate in Aspen or on a plane to their in-laws in Cleveland, I’m in the very frustrating situation of having a nearly ticked-out fundraising clock and no practical way to get any closer to my goal. Which leaves me brainstorming some impractical ways: 

Should I be the first to sit on Santa’s lap and ask for a Super Bowl spot?  Or maybe I’ll start collecting money in a different currency . . .

“What’s this?” the NBC ad sales guy would ask.

“It’s three million dollars,” I’d answer.

“I’m sorry,” he’d say.  “We don’t accept foil-covered chocolate Chanukah coins.”

Obviously I’m kidding.  Even in this economy, no network would sell a thirty second commercial on the nation’s most-watched broadcast in exchange for holiday chocolates.  

At the very least, it will require Pez.